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  1. OK…

    I know it has been a looong time since I updated, but don’t worry, I am working on Chapter 74 right this very moment.

    My inspiration/motivation was worn a little thin these past few weeks and I didn’t want to write something that wasn’t written with all my effort… so I hope you guys enjoy the next chapter knowing that I wrote it out with the care it deserves rather than it being written by a heart-less zombie.

    But, yea, I am very sorry for first promising a ‘relatively soon’ update, only to wait a whole month…. jeez… that’s embarrassing.

    And in regards to other messages I’ve gotten, yes, the ending is in sight for Growing Pangs… but I’ll be picking up ‘Konoha Gakuen’, my other KakaSaku fic, after ‘Growing Pangs’ is complete… so it won’t be the end of the couple from me.

    Also… just between you and me… I’ve been going over the ending of Growing Pangs and… there may be some ‘sequel potential’…


  2. YES! I came here because I needed to see the end of “Cliffhangers”, even if it did rise up to it’s name. LOL!

    Anyway, I am waiting anxiously for the next chapter. I will be patient, because I know the horrors of R(eal)L(ife), so I won’t be pushy… much. »

    As for both the links you posted for Youtube: They really hit the spot. I never heard Someone before and I do think it matches Kakashi in your fic SO MUCH it’s uncanny. As for Marchin’ On… I am currently in love with it.

    +puppy dog eyes+ Preview for 69 please?

    Man, that sounded way dirtier then I intended to >///> XD

  3. While writing Chapters 67 and 68 I must’ve listened to this song a hundred times.

    It’s gorgeous, and I hope some of you can like it, too.

  4. Ok, I just updated the 67th Chapter of Growing Pangs… and well… decided to shut down for a little while.



    Just a random post.

    I’ll probably be posting something of a sneak peek for Chapter 68 on here in the future.


    Depends on the amount of demand, I guess.

    Anyways, happy reading!

  5. Men always want to be a woman’s first love while women want to be a man’s last.

    Yosei, from ‘Proposal Daisukusen’


    I don’t know if it’s weird, but I immediately thought of Kakashi and Sakura. x)

  6. This may seem like a lot (about a third of a normal-sized chapter), but there is definitely so much more to come (that’s why it’s going to take me a little longer this time to write the whole thing):

    Chapter 66!

    Title: ‘Untitled right now.’

    Disclaimer: I own nothing!!


    … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

    They gathered at the usual spot, baskets and bags in hand.

    Each of them wore boots that could hold up against the large puddles of last night’s rain.

    The early bird housewives of Konohagakure would often spend the few minutes of waiting time until the markets opened up to exchange news and gossip if not only about their lives but about the more famous nin of the village. But as of lately, nothing seemed to be happening.

    “Has anybody heard of anything new?” The most opinionated of the women spoke up over the others after spending a few minutes of random chit-chat.

    The women went a little quiet and looked at each other for a moment. Nothing.
    A slightly mousy woman found her voice with a hint of excitement, “Wait, did your nephew hear anything more about Sarutobi-san and Kurenai-san?”

    “No…” The aunt of whoever the mousy one had spoken to replied solemnly.

    And with that, the women lost the hope for more drama to fill these useless minutes of their morning. But instead of resorting to talking about their families or the weather, the louder one addressed this very serious problem.

    “So nothing is happening?” She asked. “Has this village actually gotten boring?”

    Some on the women smiled with a apologetic look as if they had come to church without tithe. The louder one huffed slightly. “And I thought this place would always have some sort of entertainment.”

    “Good morning, ladies.” A simple voice interrupted their moment of boredom.

    They turned to the black-haired Academy teacher as he approached them without much warning.

    “Kuroke-san.” They muttered back, not very pleased to see a random man come drifting into their conversation like this.

    “How’s my son doing?” The mousy one asked up, forgetting to be displeased when she suddenly worried about her son’s grade.

    “He’s doing fine, Kide-san.”

    She seemed relieved.

    Silence grew between the group and him again.

    “I was just on my way to work when I heard your little problem.” He smiled with charm that these women, like most Konohagakura wives of shinobi, were immune to. They were made of tougher stuff than most.

    He noticed the lack of reaction and cleared his throat, “It seems like you all need something to talk about.” He explained.

    They turned to him a little more openly, arms crossed apathetically, hearing something of an offering in his voice.

    “I just found out something slightly scandalous last night, if you care to give me a minute.”

    Lacking anything better to do, they did.

    … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

    I checked myself in the mirror one last time, trying to buy some more time before I had to leave the house.

    I had been postponing this a little, leaving.

    After last night… even with the peace Iruka-sensei had given me… I still wasn’t all that eager to go see Kakashi-sensei.

    Because I finally figured out what I had to do.

    Only what I needed.

    It was my job to help him remember the missions, not me.

    It was my job to make sure he was the one healed in and out, not me.

    I wouldn’t give him all of this trouble and pain again.

    That would be too selfish.

    Today I just had to help him.

    This was for him.

    Not me.

    I could feel my posture tense into a crouch over the vanity of my mirror with those tired thoughts. They’d been spinning circles in my mind all night, repeating themselves as if in preparation.

    I was too tired to really feel very much pain from them anymore.

    They just seemed to be… facts now.

    An unbreakable rule I set for myself.

    I couldn’t fight against it.

    All I could do was what was needed of me.

    And, for right now… I felt like that was enough.

    For him, at least.

    Not me, though.

    I tried to actually look at myself in the mirror instead of staring blankly like I had the past dozen times I checked in the same attempt to stretch time.

    I thought I didn’t really care how I looked, but the longer I looked at myself the more I noticed the bags under my eyes and the lack of color in my complexion.
    I sighed.

    I looked pretty gross.

    And I did care.

    Even though I definitely wasn’t trying to impress anyone… it still didn’t help my confidence to know I looked like… this.
    I ran my hands over my face, trying to wipe my concern for my looks away.

    I stared into my hands for a long quiet moment before I let out a breath and dropped them to my sides, my head bowed slightly.

    I was about to turn around and leave this room which seemed more like a self-made prison right now, -one that I was the inhabitant and key-keeper of- but I was distracted. On my vanity sat something I’d nearly forgotten about.

    It glistened in the afternoon light a little.

    I stood there and looked at it for a long moment.
    I was mesmerized.
    Not only by the way it sparkled, but by the voice I could hear behind the memory of it. That voice.

    ‘Relax. It’s only a costume.’

    I’m sure it was.

    But that didn’t stop me from taking the chain from an old necklace and restringing it right now.

    I should’ve just forgotten it.
    I should’ve just left it there.

    But I didn’t want to.
    And not doing so felt… okay.

    This had been a lie inside of our lie. A costume.
    It wasn’t real.

    If I hold onto it, I’m not holding onto us… it’s just another lie.

    It’s only a lie.

    It’s alright if I keep it with me, right?

    It jingled a little when I let the chain fall around my neck with the new adornment on it.

    I liked my reflection a little more right now.
    I almost smiled.

    I’m such an idiot.
    I stuffed the chained ring under my shirt quickly, feeling embarrassed of myself but not embarrassed enough to take it off before leaving my room to go see the man who gave me that ‘costume’ ring.

    … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

    He laid there, unmoving, for another long minute just like the dozens before it. His mind seemed too full and cramped with thoughts, but painfully empty at the same time.

    I have to be insane.

    I have to be delusional, or crazy, or brain damaged.
    That last one was true to some extent right now but not in the way that could explain why he… why he… why he was like this.

    He sat up in his bed, he could already tell he slept in too late, it looked like it was late afternoon. But sleeping patterns were the last of his worries right now as he bowed forward, pressing his forehead against his arms as they crossed over his bent knees, trying to think through what exactly was happening to him.

    He had thought that he only needed some sleep in order to forget his… the feelings he felt last night. He thought he could’ve just been tired from expending so much chakra or that maybe, after talking with… her… for so long about… love… and seeing her in that sort of mature way… that maybe his mind had only connected the wrong feelings between that girl and romance because of it. That it was only because of his ‘damaged wiring’.

    But even if that was still a theory he had hoped was true right now as he crossed his forearms over his head -as if he was trying to block the feelings from his mind-, he knew that things weren’t that simple.

    Not after that dream just now.

    Waist deep in water. A girl was in his arms, only slightly shorter and smaller than a woman his own age. He hadn’t paid it much mind. He couldn’t really focus on much when he noticed he could feel every detail of her smooth skin, his hands running up and down along her back, in and out of the water, along her shoulders, up the nape of her neck. His fingers tangled in her hair for a moment. He couldn’t see, his eyes were closed. His lips moving with another pair, the ones that belonged to this girl. He could feel a shy tongue press between his lips, and before he realized he didn’t have any sort of control over himself he felt himself pick up the pace of the kiss hungrily with that. Her slender hands started trailing along his chest. He broke the kiss hesitantly when he felt her pour some of the warm water down his cooler skin, her fingers travelling downward, too. Those slender fingers fastened around the waist of his pants, quickly unbuttoning the top. As he watched the dream, he had no inclination to stop her –enjoying the sensations he hadn’t known in a longer time than he cared to think about-, but he felt his hands close around her wrists. Even as a spectator, he felt the familiarity of those wrists. His nerves seemed to freeze for a moment despite how warm the dream felt. He hoped he was wrong. He hoped he didn’t really recognize those wrists, those hands, that skin, that hair, those lips. But something told him he did. And before he could accept it, his eyes had opened in the dream. A flash of wet pink hair, his own fingers had been braided into it deeply. The pink reached her pale cheeks, even pinker with the heat. Light green eyes that looked up at him with an expression he had only ever remembered seeing from other women and never dreamed of seeing in those eyes. It was her. His team member, his subordinate, his student. The look she was giving him, the way he could feel himself holding her, it was too much.
    He wished he could close his eyes again. This was too much. He couldn’t be here. He couldn’t let himself feel this. He couldn’t let himself feel her like this.

    He woke up.

    And now here he was.

    Trying to think this out while trying not to think at all.

    Every thought that passed his mind led back to her.

    The way he had felt her in that dream.

    He knew dreams were the key to subconscious desires, but…

    … he… he couldn’t really…

    That’s not what he wanted from her.

    That’s not how he felt about her.

    He had only wanted to protect her. To ease her pain. To ease her shame.

    He didn’t want….

    He didn’t.

    He didn’t want her like that.

    If anything, yesterday should’ve solidified his fear of caring too much for her and hurting her. Yesterday he saw how fragile she could be. How she’d been hurt by a man.

    How she was even afraid of him.

    His hands clenched into fists when he remembered the way she pulled away from him yesterday.


    Some part of her was actually afraid of him.
    And with the way he is now…
    The way he couldn’t stop thinking about her.
    Couldn’t stop himself from remembering the feeling of her skin. Couldn’t stop himself from wanting to know what it would really feel like to hold her against him like that. What it would feel like to run his hands through her hair.
    What it would feel like to pull her lips to his.

    She was scared of him.

    And she was right to be.

    She should be afraid of him.

    He ground his forehead against his arms with that thought, feeling something like self-contempt sink in as he actually wanted to hit himself for a moment. He only sighed deeply.

    What kind of man am I turning into?

    … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … … …

    Feel free to review for this back on or leave a post on here. :D

  7. I actually wanted to share this song with you guys.

    The lyrics fit very very well with Kakashi, in my opinion. 

    Ok, sorry for the random sharing, but now I’ll be uploading the Sneak Preview for Chapter 66.

Melani Sub Rosa © by Rafael Martin